I broke up with Digitalocean, here’s the story

Update: Some people have commented that the post is a bit sexist. I am sorry if you felt so because that was not my intention. I just wanted to vent my anger at Digitalocean and created these fictional characters.

I finally decided to break up with my longtime love – Digitalocean. Here’ how it began and how it went downhill recently.

I found out about Digitalocean many years ago when we both were young. It was love at first sight – The elegant UI, the ease of use, the dirt-cheap price was everything I was looking for in a partner. Over the next few months, as I started using it more, I started to appreciate it even more. It was as if, Digitialocean read my mind and I could finally trust it.

There was no downtime, highly reliable as a partner and supported me with every problem I faced in life. Over the years, our bond became stronger. I started to use it on many other projects – sometimes I would host many applications on a single droplet and she would be okay with that. No complaints whatsoever.

In 2020, when I decided to start yet another venture, I did not have to look any further. Digitalocean would be my perfect home. I understood how to work with her and things to expect from her. Never before had she let me down. It was smooth sailing until recently when problems in our relationship started to surface. She expected more from me and wanted to change me.

It all started when I tried to create a Load balancer and assign my floating IP to it. You see, floating IP is something I cherish and allows me a bit of flexibility in life. But Digital ocean had other plans, she would not let me assign a floating IP to her load balancer. She expected me to spin off my own instances of the load balancer and maintain them.

It shocked me! As I dug deeper, I started to find more skeletons in the closet.

She wouldn’t protect me from a DDoS attack. Be a man she said and told me to handle it myself. I asked my close friend Cloudflare to help me out, but for custom domains, I was on my own. It did not make sense to me. It was such a basic need for any relationship. I remember last year, in summer, she decided to bring down my droplet because someone complained about me to her.

She did not even care asking me once and hearing my side of the story. It was becoming difficult to stay committed to this relationship. We are both older now and we can go our separate ways. Things have changed in recent years and there are plenty of fishes in the ocean that are equally committed and do take care of me.

I will probably move on and only pray that the breakup is not messy. Breakups are hard and it will take time to heal. I am hoping to emerge stronger than before. If you know someone, please hook me up. I heard AWS is single.

Can someone introduce me to her with some free credits?

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